https://www.warlight.net/MultiPlayer?GameID=9256423

I watched this one and I felt like I have to comment on it. I was laughing throughout the whole game, and give it a 10/10. For best results read in the voice of the announcer from The Stanley Parable. For reference here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEXhxX6nBLs

Alright, so I'm not even going to review this board for like, what should've been picked but can tell you what not to do. Everyone gets 2 picks, there's 4 players, so 8 picks total on the board. Pooncrew decides to pick 12 to cover his bases. Queefballs only goes for 4 because yolo. Blowfly and Jasdanmoo both only go for 3, and they're cluster picks. This would be fine if both went for their own standalone 4, but it's still possible they'll get some random pick off the map. Don't pick only 3, if you're gonna pick below 8 for some reason pick at least 4.

So Jasdanmoo and Blowfly both get a combo 4 while Pooncrew and Queefballs get standalone 3 and 2. I actually like Poon Squad's picks here compared to 101st's.

Turn 1: 101st team likes to expand rather decently. I would've changed it up slightly so that my leftovers would be better for my 2nd bonus, but it's not bad. Poon Squad seems to love 3v2s, and I don't think they ever expand with a 4v2. This turns to bad luck on 3v2s, but they could've just not used 3v2s.

Turn 2: Queefballs misses his 3 bonus. Blowfly's moves are rather questionable here. He could've made his 4 bonus a 100% chance, but instead he moves armies into his 2 bonus.. I don't know what he's doing honestly.

Turn 3: Queefballs goes for Greenland as his next expansion option. It'll take 4 turns total to take. He could've taken Scandinavia in 3 and then taken The Azores to get a border on North America, but oh well. Blowfly REALLY wants his 2 though.

Turn 4: Okay, so Queefballs uses and 8 to break the 4 in West China, but uses a 3v2 to progress in Greenland? Alright then. Blowfly decides to 3v2 his 2 bonus and attack neutrals in North US. Gotta assert that dominance.

Turn 5: Missed 6s and 3s everywhere. Maybe you guys should use orders that work 100% of the time? Idk. I don't know why people do this, but they like to deploy inside of a bonus and move armies towards a bonus they're gonna progress next turn. Why not hit a 4v2 into the bonus? Or just.. idk.. leave it to next turn's income. Blowfly is expanding at a terrifyingly fast rate. Look at him go.

Turn 6: I guess Queefballs got mad at failing that 6 because he threw 4 armies at a neutral of 1. Let's count the amount of outside expansion Pooncrew is working on. Looks like 3 bonuses. And he's still 2 turns away from 2 of those bonuses, despite starting 1 the turn before. The only bonus he can finish is the one he started this turn. Queefballs is going to have decent income though. Still not sure what Blowfly is doing. Yet again deploying 1 and moving it next to a territory he'll take next turn instead of hitting a 4v2 to ensure he can actually take the bonus.

Turn 7: The amount of failed 6s in this game does make me kinda sad at the game, but then I remember these guys are acting like it's 0% SR anyways. Queefballs moves into East China, for assertion of dominance I assume. Jasdanmoo gets a border onto Pooncrew with an income advantage. Blowfly is expanding everywhere possible. With 3s.

Turn 8: More failed 6s. -cringe- Based RNG god please. Pooncrew finally completes the 2 bonuses he started at turn 5. Blowfly deployed to California for no reason. Blowfly met Queefballs. Jasdanmoo has a double border on 5 income while Pooncrew has a triple border on 4 income with equal income. From here Pooncrew should ditch East Africa and break South Africa while keeping West Africa his. Then he should move to Saint Helena to border Brazil. If he does this, he trades 3 income for 4 income and it's not like Jasdanmoo can progress towards Poon's income that easily. It's gonna take another 2 turns to get the double border on West Africa, and then another turn to border 7 income. If you have Saint Helena, the chances Jasdanmoo successfully makes it to your income with a stack is pretty low. Losing Brazil loses the game for Jasdanmoo.

He'll do none of that. I'm just saying. On the flip side, Jasdanmoo should try to predict Pooncrew and grab those 2 territories. Then he can just move straight through Poon's income. Taking Saint Helena would be a good idea as well for Jasdanmoo.

Queefballs should take The Azores. He should've taken it awhile back, but whatever. It's literally the only place his opponents could be, the Americas. Instead he moved 12 into Russia. I don't follow his logic. Why move 12 into Russia and risk a 6v4 to progress SEA when you could do a 7v4 and ensure SEA the next turn? Dunno. Moving through Japan would be alright, but Azores would definitely be better.

Blowfly should just continue being Blowfly, because he's beautiful and you can't tell me otherwise.

Turn 9: Just btw Pooncrew, you haven't finished West Russia. There's 1 territory left. This is a really bad turn for Jasdanmoo. Poon didn't want to move so Jasdanmoo pretty much split all of his income up into the territories and told them to commit seppuku. This is a really good example of how not to handle this situation. Don't split your stack like that. Honestly, defend 2 of those territories in South Africa lightly and stack up in another. Choose whether you're breaking West or East Africa and continue from there.

You keep being you Blowfly. Don't you dare move those California troops just incase the Japanese decide to surprise you.

Turn 10: Poon hasn't moved for 2 turns. I'm beginning to think he died at his keyboard and that someone is thankfully clicking the mouse on the territories to progress this game. RIP Poon 2015, you were a mild source of entertainment.

So Jasdanmoo realizes how bad his turn from before was and is literally asking Poon to break South Africa to punish him. Thankfully, Poon died so Jasdanmoo breaks Poon's income without any retribution.

West Russia still hasn't been taken.

I believe in you Blowfly. I really do. Also lol Queef expansion.

Turn 11: Yup, Poon definitely died. Also Blowfly should move, but I still believe in him.

West Russia still hasn't been taken.

Jasdanmoo is literally smashing his mouse into random moves in Africa and still making progress.

Turn 12: NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Blowfly. Why did you move out of California!? What if the Japanese attack you. This is exactly how America got thrown into World War 2. At least you broke the deceased Pooncrew. So did Jasdanmoo.

West Russia still hasn't been taken.

Turn 13: RIP Queefballs 2015. Whoever killed Pooncrew also killed him as he failed to move any troops anywhere. Thank you random person who saw PC and QF playing a risk-like game and deployed their troops for them in order to continue the game. You are the real star of this game.

West Russia still hasn't been taken.

Edited 8/20/2015 17:46:39

10/10 for most hilarious game I've seen, and 10/10 for the most hilarious review I've ever read, for Warlight or otherwise.

This needs to be made into a video aha. Commentate in your best Stanley parable impersonation.

Only 13 turns ? This is a faster game than average.

Also, West Russia...

Happens to me sometimes. Best to view bonus in window when production doesn't go up.

I laughed so hard at west russia

East canada too!!! :'D

I didn't point out East Canada because there's no real reason for him to finish that bonus yet. He just shouldn't have taken the extra territories. Also he's Blowfly and he's beautiful.

lmfao Lolowut, you made my day xDDDDD

QB and PC are an interesting team. I hope they comment on this because I honestly don't understand their gameplay at all.

That ladder is so dumb. I remember posting this a while ago, but we had a team in the top 5 that never picked 8 spots (or 6 min if you don't overlap). They were only picking 4 spots.

I don't know how someone can defend a ladder that allows people who can't even pick the right amount that high on it. The fact remains there are not enough picks on it.


Good review though, LOL

And in other news, lolowut is still a virgin who watches other people's ladder games.

I don't know how someone can defend a ladder that allows people who can't even pick the right amount that high on it. The fact remains there are not enough picks on it.

While I'm not one to defend the 2v2 ladder, I don't think a template is automatically strategically worthless if it allows people to get away with pick strategies that don't involve making a safe number. Any RoR-based template, for example, does have a few viable (though probably not optimal) pick strategies that don't need a safe number to work in most cases.

The best part is the leftovers sitting around while he still needs a territory in West Russia. I get that people don't make the best picks or the best moves. But it IS funny when you see leftovers just left around. I guess they don't subscribe to the leave no man behind mantra.

simply brilliant

@Knyte: As explained in my review, you can pick 4 picks and just not include your partner's picks, and that'd be reliably safe. But both players pick 3 picks, so if the other team were to pick similarly Blowfly and Jasdanmoo could get their 1st/2nd pick + some random pick.

Same goes for RoR, you can pick less than the safe amount of picks, SO LONG as you don't overlap with your teammate.

Edited 8/20/2015 19:14:42

he's Blowfly and he's beautiful

Who doesn`t love Blowfly :D

Lolowut isn't ranked on the 2v2 ladder so I can't really take this commentary seriously. But if you want to spend your free time watching replays of Warlight games you're not even in I guess I won't stop you.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Lolowut isn't ranked on the 2v2 ladder so I can't really take this commentary seriously

He played the 2v2 ladder three times, ended top 3 in all of them.

But if you want to spend your free time watching replays of Warlight games you're not even in I guess I won't stop you

This can help you improve a lot. I am starting to analyse games between top players more and more, it helps you improve. Besides that he could`ve just been curious. Or maybe Lolo is Blowfly`s biggest fan and doesn`t want to miss a game he plays.

maybe loluwut is blowfly's alt!

Honestly, it was the most recent 2v2 game and I was surprised that Blowfly won. Go watch Blowfly's 1v1 ladder games if you want some reference on his playing. Spoiler alert, it's not any different from this 2v2 game.

Also Poonsquad, my jokes aside I did try to make it informational. I also streamed the game and commented on it live and made that as informational as possible.

For example the points in this post were that you guys seemed to just be expanding and not looking to win the game. You need to control chokepoints before your opponent arrives if you can do it. I think it was by turn 6 that you should've been able to discern 'My opponents are in the Americas. I should go break their income to win the game' or at least 'I should control the chokepoints so I can continue to expand.'

It's turn 8 to where it's no longer a prediction or any thought behind it. You had checked Russia and your opponent showed up in South Africa. You knew where your opponents were, but you didn't move towards them or control vulnerable areas. You just defended the immediate territories. You can't win many games playing that passive.

That's probably why you guys have a 5-16 record, with 4 of those wins being decided on boots. That means you've only won 1 game on the 2v2 ladder right now legitimately. So your play style doesn't work. If you can't admit that, you won't improve.