Right, you fukn guys, im sick of this.
i've been seeing lots and lots and lots of threads on this "America election shit". and this American election I see is not until fucking November 8th!
That's like 14 months from, now, right?
Something that's WAAAAAY more pressing, is the SCOTTISH ELECTION
This shit is right now modern, like. It's happening in May 5th, right?
So, here is some basic analysis to what you need to understand about my... fucking hell ill get on with itThe Scottish Political Party System & Shit
Right now. There are 129 seats in the Scottish parliament,
like? That means a party's got tae get at least 65 (done the maths for ye, ye fuckin' american) seats, for it to get power. So, what parties will we be seeing this time 'round?Scottish National Party
Alright, it's no secret that this party will sweep the floor. Scotland is effectively a 1 party system at this point, and for good reason. There are hardly any fucking right-wing voters in Scotland, as proven by the last general election, so we all want a left-of-centre nationalistic government to best represent us.
Aside from that, we must figure out: How much will they win by? Last time SNP won with 64 seats when there were 128 seats total. Now, it'll be harder! But, the party has got stronger as well. My prediction is something like this:http://i.imgur.com/GVeaUDA.png
Right, as you can see, there will be a Tory belt in the south, much like the Bible-basher belt, in America.
Above that, there'll be the remains of Labour, trying to hold onto some land in the central belt. They'll get the outskirts of Edinburgh, but not Edinburgh proper. They'll lose all holdings in the capital city, so Glasgow will be their last stand. But even in Glasgow, they'll lose constituencies as well. SNP will get most of the seats, and Lib Dem are still in exile in Orkney-Shetland.
Which moves me onto:Scottish Labour Party
Alright, nobody even likes them anyway. They did nothing; they're a secret trick made by the English to make us think that we're voting for the "Scottish" Labour Party, but what actually happened was that English folk were being voted in, and shit, so they did nothing to glorious Scotland. This is no longer a 2 party battle; the Labours have fallen, and it is time for SNP!Scottish Conservative & Unionist Party
They'll lose 1 seat, gain 1 seat. Everything they will have will be the English immigrants and a few hillbilly Southern Uplands Scots evangelical shit voting for them. Was that UNIONIST I heard? Shit!Lib Dems and shit like that xD
Nobody even likes them other than those Norwegian Orkney & Shetland living people lelGreens
LOL! They'll lose everything they ever had. The only votes they get are the "fuck the system" votes, in Scotland and England.UKIP
Haha, funny. Conservatives are lucky they get votes, let alone UKIP! They are called a "major" party, here. WHAT? Major? xDDDDDScottish Socialist Party / Scottish Trade Unionist-Socialists
Both these parties are cool. More people would vote for them if they were major. Sadly, they won't get any seats.Scottish Christian Party
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Relm would vote for these guys if he lived in Scotland!Pirate Party UK
They still exist, after all these years. I'd have fought with them if I lived in the 1600s, but sadly they have lived on, and they are now in the right of the spectrum.Scottish Democratic Alliance
These guys are basically the SNP, but Right of centre, instead of left-of-centre. I'd rather not.
Plus, they're weak AF. When have you ever heard of them before? Exactly!BNP
These guys exist in Scotland? Lol, have fun guys. Official unionists xDCommunists
Nah, just nah.Christian Peoples Alliance
This is a fucking splinter-group of the Scottish Christian Party... for fucks sake, man, how much can you splinter!Britain First / A Better Britain
You English guys get out of Scotland you fuckers.National Front
This is a party just like Front Nationale, but in the UK. Basically allies, but these guys are so small and weak.East Dunbartonshire Independence Alliance
I guess you can vote for these guys if you think East Dunbartonshire should get independence. Map:https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cf/East_Dunbartonshire_council.PNG/480px-East_Dunbartonshire_council.PNGThe Wind Watchers
These people have downs syndromeScottish Unionist Party
Lool, fat chance, mate.Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers
Yup, burn them at the stake!Scottish Senior Citizens Unity Party
If you're a senior citizen!Pride In Paisley Party
Another independence movement within Scotland, for this one town:http://www.worldatlas.com/img/locator/city/080/77984-paisley-locator-map.jpgPublican Party
These guys don't like smoking. That's all.Independent Green Voice
Splinter group of the greens... weird people, they are.Nine Per Cent Growth Party
These guys are on drugs, mate. They got 80 votes last time. Let's break triple digits this time!Pensioners Party
I guess these guys like old people.Free Scotland Party / Scottish Independence Party
Splinter groups of the SNP.NO2EU
They hate the EU, but they are left wing. What votes are you gonnae get there, you arseholes?
Anyway, now you know everything you need to know about all the parties that will be running in various constituencies across Scotland in the next election!
Edited 2/17/2016 22:22:48