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Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:21:01


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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Right, you fukn guys, im sick of this.

i've been seeing lots and lots and lots of threads on this "America election shit". and this American election I see is not until fucking November 8th!

That's like 14 months from, now, right?

Something that's WAAAAAY more pressing, is the SCOTTISH ELECTION.

This shit is right now modern, like. It's happening in May 5th, right?

So, here is some basic analysis to what you need to understand about my... fucking hell ill get on with it

The Scottish Political Party System & Shit

Right now. There are 129 seats in the Scottish parliament,
like? That means a party's got tae get at least 65 (done the maths for ye, ye fuckin' american) seats, for it to get power. So, what parties will we be seeing this time 'round?

Scottish National Party

Alright, it's no secret that this party will sweep the floor. Scotland is effectively a 1 party system at this point, and for good reason. There are hardly any fucking right-wing voters in Scotland, as proven by the last general election, so we all want a left-of-centre nationalistic government to best represent us.

Aside from that, we must figure out: How much will they win by? Last time SNP won with 64 seats when there were 128 seats total. Now, it'll be harder! But, the party has got stronger as well. My prediction is something like this:

http://i.imgur.com/GVeaUDA.png

Right, as you can see, there will be a Tory belt in the south, much like the Bible-basher belt, in America.

Above that, there'll be the remains of Labour, trying to hold onto some land in the central belt. They'll get the outskirts of Edinburgh, but not Edinburgh proper. They'll lose all holdings in the capital city, so Glasgow will be their last stand. But even in Glasgow, they'll lose constituencies as well. SNP will get most of the seats, and Lib Dem are still in exile in Orkney-Shetland.

Which moves me onto:

Scottish Labour Party

Alright, nobody even likes them anyway. They did nothing; they're a secret trick made by the English to make us think that we're voting for the "Scottish" Labour Party, but what actually happened was that English folk were being voted in, and shit, so they did nothing to glorious Scotland. This is no longer a 2 party battle; the Labours have fallen, and it is time for SNP!

Scottish Conservative & Unionist Party

They'll lose 1 seat, gain 1 seat. Everything they will have will be the English immigrants and a few hillbilly Southern Uplands Scots evangelical shit voting for them. Was that UNIONIST I heard? Shit!

Lib Dems and shit like that xD

Nobody even likes them other than those Norwegian Orkney & Shetland living people lel

Greens

LOL! They'll lose everything they ever had. The only votes they get are the "fuck the system" votes, in Scotland and England.

UKIP

Haha, funny. Conservatives are lucky they get votes, let alone UKIP! They are called a "major" party, here. WHAT? Major? xDDDDD

Scottish Socialist Party / Scottish Trade Unionist-Socialists

Both these parties are cool. More people would vote for them if they were major. Sadly, they won't get any seats.

Scottish Christian Party

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL. Relm would vote for these guys if he lived in Scotland!

Pirate Party UK

AAAARRRRRRRR!!

The Jacobites

They still exist, after all these years. I'd have fought with them if I lived in the 1600s, but sadly they have lived on, and they are now in the right of the spectrum.

Scottish Democratic Alliance

These guys are basically the SNP, but Right of centre, instead of left-of-centre. I'd rather not.

Plus, they're weak AF. When have you ever heard of them before? Exactly!

BNP

These guys exist in Scotland? Lol, have fun guys. Official unionists xD

Communists

Nah, just nah.

Christian Peoples Alliance

This is a fucking splinter-group of the Scottish Christian Party... for fucks sake, man, how much can you splinter!

Britain First / A Better Britain

You English guys get out of Scotland you fuckers.

National Front

This is a party just like Front Nationale, but in the UK. Basically allies, but these guys are so small and weak.

East Dunbartonshire Independence Alliance

I guess you can vote for these guys if you think East Dunbartonshire should get independence. Map:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/cf/East_Dunbartonshire_council.PNG/480px-East_Dunbartonshire_council.PNG

The Wind Watchers

These people have downs syndrome

Scottish Unionist Party

Lool, fat chance, mate.

Scotland Against Crooked Lawyers

Yup, burn them at the stake!

Scottish Senior Citizens Unity Party

If you're a senior citizen!

Pride In Paisley Party

Another independence movement within Scotland, for this one town:

http://www.worldatlas.com/img/locator/city/080/77984-paisley-locator-map.jpg

Publican Party

These guys don't like smoking. That's all.

Independent Green Voice

Splinter group of the greens... weird people, they are.

Nine Per Cent Growth Party

These guys are on drugs, mate. They got 80 votes last time. Let's break triple digits this time!

Pensioners Party

I guess these guys like old people.

Free Scotland Party / Scottish Independence Party

Splinter groups of the SNP.

NO2EU

They hate the EU, but they are left wing. What votes are you gonnae get there, you arseholes?




Anyway, now you know everything you need to know about all the parties that will be running in various constituencies across Scotland in the next election!

Edited 2/17/2016 22:22:48
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:22:54


Cata Cauda 
Level 57
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i've been seeing lots and lots and lots of threads on this "America election shit". and this American election I see is not until fucking November 8th!

+1000000

I am sick of that too.

American Politics suck.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:25:52


SirSalty
Level 49
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I'm sick of seeing Scottish people on the Internet.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:26:07


Lolicon love 
Level 56
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yeah lets put more pressing matters into light and legalise them like.........children............
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:29:10


Zephyrum 
Level 60
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Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:29:48


Darth Darth Binks
Level 56
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i've been seeing lots and lots and lots of threads on this "America election shit". and this American election I see is not until fucking November 8th!

Right. And we American citizens are keeping up with our politicians so we know who to vote for when November 8 comes around. Tough sh*t if you're sick of seeing it. Talk Scottish politics without telling us to f*ck off. It's not hard.

That's like 14 months from, now, right?

No.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:30:24


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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it isnt?
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:30:59


Paugers
Level 41
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Scotland doesn't matter lmao, that's like saying THE FLORIDA ELECTIONS ARE COMING UP> No one gives a shit XD
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:31:38


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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I do :(
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:32:51


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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America is one of the most powerful countries in the world, and it's a time to see politic ideologies.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:32:57


Darth Darth Binks
Level 56
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It's February right now. There are 8 months between February and the beginning of November.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:33:12


SirSalty
Level 49
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Scotland doesn't matter, now crawl into your man cave.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:38:52


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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It's February right now. There are 8 months between February and the beginning of November.


Not on my calendar.

http://i.imgur.com/ZzQVNfq.png
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:40:23


Darth Darth Binks
Level 56
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Your calendar is why we don't talk about Scotland.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:41:30


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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Well, don't complain when I go missing after April then, k?
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:44:03


Onoma94
Level 59
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Ox in his artistic mood, seems.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:45:17


Legi
Level 56
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AAAARRRRRRRR!!
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:45:50


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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I see Legi is a pirate party voter :)
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 22:49:56

Luna {TJC}
Level 56
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Ox in his artistic mood, seems.


Yeah looks like it but that's on crackpot snakes and ladders board
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:01:44


SirSalty
Level 49
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I think you spelt autistic wrong.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:05:41

Luna {TJC}
Level 56
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But that's not a mood salty he's always like that
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:28:18


[AOE] JaiBharat909
Level 56
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This was actually informative/semi-comedic. I hope Scottish people follow their desires for independence if they feel they are no longer politically, culturally, socially, or economically able to continue a forced union with Westminster. If unionism is still desired, I hope the Scottish people vote UKIP and save yourselves from the economic and social perils of mass illegal immigration.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:29:55


SirSalty
Level 49
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You're stupid.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:32:51

An abandoned account
Level 56
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Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:43:37


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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A few thousand refugees going to Scotland is like pissing in a lake, culturally speaking. In the 1500s, Lithuania allowed Muslims to settle in it, but they did not become the Emirate of Lithuanistan did they?
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:46:46


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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pissing in a loch*

here we are very adamant about our "no lake, only loch" rule.
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:48:46


Cata Cauda 
Level 57
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"Loch" Is German and means "hole".
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:49:30


Cata Cauda 
Level 57
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Therefor, "Lochness" is the "Holyness".
Something I want to say: 2/17/2016 23:51:12


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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Is a Muslim pissing in the holiness a affront to the pope?
Something I want to say: 2/18/2016 00:05:13


[AOE] JaiBharat909
Level 56
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You're stupid.

:( That's rude!

Immigration is good!! Illegal immigration is not good. What's stupid about that?
Posts 1 - 30 of 45   1  2  Next >>   

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