Helo my dear reader:

I tried to make a Fan Fiction equation after my last one went in my potty.

So here I got:

Chatper I:

Flutterhsy was feeling ill today. She didn't want to go to school. But then, out came Shadow!

Shadow : Do you wanna go to da p r o m with me?

Fluttershy was amassed. She had no clue somebody as gorJ as S H A D O W would want to go to the P R O M with her! She immediately said immediately:

Fluttershy : YES! i mean. Yes.

Shadow said...

Shadow : I knew you would say yes. I am shadow afterall. Much better than Sonic.

And then you could see SOnic flying from the other side of the moon because he could hear it and he came up and said to them : :

Sonic: HEY! That wasn't nice

Shadow decided to reply with a reply that said :

Shadow : Woah I did not mean it brother.

So sonic was ok.

Sonic : Wow I feel better now. Bye I go back to da M O O N

Shadow : Bye sister.

Sonic was appalled that Shadow would call him a sister when Sonic is his father


Soonic : Wow that is past my line you want to fight?

Fluttershy felt embossed with this so she went in the middle fo them and sayd.

FLUTTERSHY: stop!

So they decided to stop.

But before they did stop they tried to hit each other and hit Fluttershy.

Fluttershy: *ooeooeoeoeoeoo* *falls to ground*

Shadow : You know what this means...

Sonic : We go Paugers on her ass?

Shadow :: WOWOWOWOWOAAHAH THAT'S TO FAR I CALL THE POLICE ON YOU.

SONIC: I didn't mean it!

Shadow : Ok I continue with what I was going to say: We should call the police on you because you hit her.

Sonic : I mma SUE YOU for hitting my girlfrend!

Shadow : I wuz going to da P R O M with him not you!

Sonic : But she was my girlfrend too!

Shadow : YOU SL*T !! ! ! And Shadow hit Fluttershy on the snooter.

Fluttershy : MY SNOOTER

Fluttershy then fell asleep again.

Sonic : IMMA SOO YOU!

Shadow : Oops I did not mean to honk her on the snooter.

Fluttershy : MY SNOOTER.

And so they all lived happily ever after (other than Fluttershy's snooter)

Da end.


HOPE THIS WAS GOOD!

Well read,

OxTheAutist.

>:( w h a t is this t e x t :D I can't r e a d ._.

You've honestly downgraded in my book of awesomeness. Please sort this out before I have to use my SJW mind control technique.

While overall I enjoyed your story extract I think there where some minor flaws that if it was any longer would of completely ruined the whole story for ME.

Shadow : Do you wanna go to da p r o m with me?

Extract like this show that while the storyline is interesting (it included my two favorited characters of all time (I wish they where real thought)) shadow doesn't speak like the real shadow. Shadow is well know for his 'cool' and as some haters say 'edgy' personality and this fan-fiction shows non of that. I would go as far as to question your real legitimacy as a fan of shadow and fluttershy. If you was a real fan you would know the first and last voice actors to voice shadow there date of birth and address.

[1]Shadow : I knew you would say yes. I am shadow afterall. Much better than Sonic.

Furthermore the sonic - shadow rivalry was really not show as much as I think you should have displayed it. (As seen it quote labelled [1]) Instead it should say something like (bear in mind I am not a proper writer like you but I am a FAN)

Shadow:I AM SHADOW LORD OF THE UNDERWORLD AND STRONG AND FASTER AND BETTER THAN SONIC!!!

I will critique the rest of the 'fan' - fiction later. Thank you.

EDIT: You spelt SANIC wrong :(

Edited 5/2/2016 20:06:10

Thanks. You I will do much better next time thank for a FAN!