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I'll think country first: 8/17/2016 23:07:03


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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Lots of folk think country first; so I'll try in a little exercise here.

I have the fortunate circumstance in this situation of being in a state with a small nationalistic side, in a country owning it, that seceded from another country. So I get to choose from four countries.

Pros and cons of the countries:

US:

Pros:
• Don't need to vote; already done for I
• Always a chance to loot when a black is shot
• God Emperor Trump
Cons:
• Democrats
• Republicans
• Washington DC

Mexico:

Pros:
• Good authentic Mexican food
• Good music
• Gets to be irredentist over land it owned for only twenty years

Cons:
• Coups
• A drug war kept up by the US
• Irradiated poisonous water

Texas:

Pros:
• Can cook using sidewalk
• Don't have to ever explain why you're not marrying
• Scarface putting it down for Houston
Cons:
• All exes live in Texas
• Can cook on sidewalk
• Unnatural borders

CSA:
Pros:
• Get to be drunk 90% of time
• Get to honestly think you're a knight
• No yardwork (if rich)
Cons:
• You're a serf (if poor)
• Race riots a constant danger to both blacks and whites
• Economy in ruins

Well I've decided on Texas

Here's my speech for my campaign as president:

"Listen folks, we have a serious problem. It's a big problem, and we need it solved. Who's gonna solve it? Well I thought, yeah, I could solve it. What's the problem? Border security. So how do we solve it? Moats! We're going to expand to the Rio Grande and Arkansas, and we're gonna have the Russians bankroll us doing it! We're gonna build a moat between the Arkansas and Rio Grande, and have America pay for it too! We're going to join an allaince with Russia and China, and get them to give us military equipment and aid, so we can fight the US in wars. They'll be none the wiser that we're not actually being threatened and actively provoking conflict with the US, and they'll sanction America if they resist. Vote I, 2016!"

#texit #bamo #humor
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 00:15:15


[WOLF] The Conservative
Level 56
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What exactly is the point of this?
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 00:31:08


Genghis 
Level 52
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Satire Cringe Compilation
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 01:08:31


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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• Can cook on sidewalk


This is bad? It's pretty handy if you ask me, no need to spend money on an oven and the strength to work it.
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 02:29:50


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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Why ?
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 04:40:59


The Lord
Level 52
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EDIT: (Comment removed)
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 05:03:59


BUFFALO
Level 43
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(Comment removed by NASA)
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 06:39:35


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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This is bad? It's pretty handy if you ask me, no need to spend money on an oven and the strength to work it.

Double edged sword; if you have feet without shoes, they'll sting like heck. Also heat exhaustion and that.
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 07:02:29


TeamGuns 
Level 58
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Pros: god emperor Trump
Wtf lol

Also mexican food in Mexico is pretty bad. I went there so I can tell.
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 09:57:20


[TNW] Commander Vimes
Level 29
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EDIT:(Comment removed)
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 09:59:50


[TNW] Commander Vimes
Level 29
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Or else you could go for the greatest country in the world, New Zealand.
(I'm definitely not a nationalist)
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 16:48:06


knyte 
Level 58
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"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FREE BREADSTICKS. These have just been STOLEN from the taxpayers!"

"Sir this is an Olive Garden."

"DON'T TREAD ON ME!"
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 17:15:02


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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+1 Knyte
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 18:05:13


Genghis 
Level 52
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Texas isn't that hot.

70-90 Fahrenheit (15-25 celsisus?m? Idk) feels nice. It's the humidity that really gets you. It can reach into the far 90s and sometimes 100 (F) but it's the humidity man.

I get a taco at taco bell and have to eat it on the way home because it might get doughey, as compared to Montana, where i could leave a taco sitting for 30 minutes and it just get ls crumbley.

#RealLifeScienceExperiments
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 18:49:00


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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The summers winding down; of course it's only 28 degrees. But that doesn't mean it being 40 degrees in the peaks of summer doesn't matter.
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 19:51:55


[WOLF] The Conservative
Level 56
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"THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS FREE BREADSTICKS. These have just been STOLEN from the taxpayers!"

"Sir this is an Olive Garden."

"DON'T TREAD ON ME!"

As a Libertarian, I could not stop laughing
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 20:21:22


OxTheAutist 
Level 58
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• Don't have to ever explain why you're not marrying

Yeah, I heard there's a link between Texans' brains as to why you wouldn't dare try to explain why you won't marry your boyfriend.
I'll think country first: 8/18/2016 20:36:27


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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Yeah, I heard there's a link between Texans' brains as to why you wouldn't dare try to explain why you won't marry your boyfriend.

Well yeah, the joke was that gay marriage would be illegal so you wouldn't have to deflect when asked to marry. I suppose that you'd have had to assume that the couple in question was homosexual though.
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