Darth Darth Binks
Once upon a time there was news bias, way too many Republican nominees, a couple dead and martyred black criminals, more than one proxy war, and SJWs on a distressful rise. But then, the ball dropped down and 2016 came, along with news bias, way too many bad US Pres. nominees, a dead martyred black criminal named Harambe, the same proxy wars but with less hospitals, and SJWs trying to take over the news media to brainwash the future generation.
In 2016 the US has decided that it doesn't deserve the better candidates like Kasich, Rubio, and Sanders and narrowed it down to two felons, one a sex offender, and another the one who covered up for her sex offender husband. While Trump goes on about walls and knowing more about the size of Mary's nips than baby Jesus does, Hillary goes on about blaming everything that comes to mind (when she's not having seizures) on Republicans, and the rest of the world laughs. The outcome of the election will yield the same results: riots across the US, higher military spending, and an increase in both ISIS members and Canadian citizens.
Syria and co. are keeping up with reminding the world that the Middle East is, was, and always will be a shithole, with the US and Russia fighting a neo-Cold-Proxy war by blowing up hospitals, and occasionally killing the people they want to. Iran's in Syria, too.
Speaking of Iran, the US completed their nuclear deal with the volatile nation, having gas prices in-country drop tremendously, only for them to rise up to where it was come Winter time. But who knows? Maybe the US will save up enough money with this deal to fend off the erasion of Israel Iran promised in 20 some years.
A gorilla named Harambe was shot and killed by zoo workers because a boy escaped his dumbass parents and found his way into the STALE MEME'S captivity. This sparked outrage in the thousands of people who care about animal lives more than human lives because the animal was just trying to protect the boy. I have to agree with these people. Harambe was saving the kid to death.
Colin Kaepernick and other athletes decided to make sure they don't have a job next year by kneeling during the US national anthem to bring attention to the nonexistent institutional racism still plaguing the country, instead of advocating for millionaire athletes to donate a pretty penny to tackle the real reason black criminals get shot: POVERTY YOU IDIOTS.
Philippine's President went ham on drug dealers, effectively splitting the part of the world that cares into two halves: those who are against it and those who are for it but say they are against it because they would be without a job if they spoke their mind. I think he should infiltrate the drug rings and straight up give everyone in them elephant tranquilizers. It would cut a lot of expenses, in theory.
So while the latest year is winding down with Russia continuing to tease the US with its fighter jets, Pokemon Go having fat kids getting rides from grandparents to play, Iraq's most infamous rivals teaming up to take Mosul and hopefully keep it for more than five years, and Syrian refugees spreading across europe (and poor Jordan) like a cancer, I am left thinking to myself, "Why was I born here, in this time? Are my children going to live in a worse time? Should I even have kids?" I am not left with many good answers, just an utter distaste of how the world is now.
I can only hope I get killed by a clown this Halloween. 2017 is going to be so much worse.
Stay edgy and have a nice time.