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A Machiavellian Fairytale: 2/4/2014 11:56:35

Level 55
An Alternative History of JSA the One-day Champ, as narrated by Qi.

Teddy KGB, the Alpha Ladder Bear, destroyed Goldilocks JSA on Dec. 24 ( The Machiavellian Goldilocks knew then that First Place was beyond his reach, for Teddy the Bear was too ferocious and the difference in honey was too great.

But on Jan. 2, The Alpha Ladder Bear quit the ladder during the winter hibernation to protect his cubs from the Arctic Vortex. Goldilocks JSA pounced on his opportunity! When the Bear was away, Goldilocks played!

"Third Place is a little too light. Second Place is a little too slight. First Place fits just right!" he exclaimed to his little brother, Little JSA. But to get there, he had to use a little tom-foolery in a game:

The game starts on Jan 3rd. JSA and Wazz play turns 1-8 in real-time that day, while JSA is in Second Place. JSA wants First Place. He knows he might lose this game against a wily opponent. On the critical turn, Turn 9, JSA stops playing real-time, to avoid losing his honey.

The next day, Jan. 4th, Roo is out with Winnie the Pooh and JSA reaches the coveted First Place!

Oh how the Forum Followers, Fans, and Fools fete JSA's glorious accomplishment! JSA basks in his glory with humble remarks of gratitude and self-effacement. The Forum wants more!

But more is not to come. Unbeknownst to the Forum Followers, Fans, and Fools, JSA the Champ was Wazz's Chump. On Jan. 4th, JSA takes The Turn that he was too timid to take the day before. In The Turn, Wazz chumps the Champ by busting JSA's bonus in Europe, protecting his own Middle East bonus, and clearing The Champ from Georgia. A complete and utter failure for The People's Champ! Income and armies go from 16-53 (JSA) vs 16-58 (Wazz) to 11-51 (JSA) vs 16-61 (Wazz). JSA surrenders his glory and drops to Second Place.

But The One-day Champ is not deterred! Oh no! JSA hangs around the ladder a few more days, hoping to prove he belongs in First Place, and not just by using some delay tactics versus Wazz or stealing the Bear's honey when the Bear is not home. JSA tells his little brother, Little JSA, "I am the best, whenever I try really hard, whenever I manipulate the system, and whenever luck is on my side!"

Unfortunately for JSA, he meets the Abominable Anakin Chigurh, who quickly disillusions the Would-be Champ with a three-turn bludgeoning (Jan. 7), at which point the Champion retires.

But JSA the Champ will rise again! A week later he sees a second chance to return to the glory of First Place! JSA this time tells his little brother, Little JSA, "I will prove to everybody that I am more than just a one-day champion!"

But, alas, it is not to be. First Place is beyond his grasp. He gives up in his remaining games against Timinator the Eliminator and Wily Masochist Old Surehand, for he has proven to the Forum Followers, Fans, and Fools that he belongs.

In the end, JSA learns that it doesn't matter how you achieve your goals. The important thing is to have achieved them. And JSA the One-day Champ's profile page will happily forever after note that on one glorious day in the wintry twilight of the Chinese Year of the Snake, JSA conquered the world!

Based on a true story:

Edited 2/4/2014 12:11:55
A Machiavellian Fairytale: 2/4/2014 13:08:13

Level 56
get a life
A Machiavellian Fairytale: 2/4/2014 14:20:20

The Man from Nowhere
Level 18
A life like iNoob's, a life of mediocrity.
A Machiavellian Fairytale: 2/4/2014 14:21:49

Daisuke Jigen
Level 56
Nice analogy. Champ, chump.
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