Make like Frozen and let it go

What did the pebble wish?

Only that she could be a little boulder.

Why did Timmy drop his ice cream?


Because he was hit by a truck.

Why did Hailey fall off the swingset?

Because she had no arms.



Knock, Knock!

Who's there?

Not Hailey.

Knock knock.

Who's there.

Not Timmy.


seriously....?

Edited 3/21/2014 04:30:10

You guys are so mean :(

You hear the joke about Helen Keller?

Neither did she.

D: You're cruel.

Make a cute joke

Why was the bee's hair sticky?

He used a honey comb!

I thought the Frisbee was getting closer.

Then it hit me.

Q. Why did the little girl fall off of her bike?
A. Because someone threw a fridge at her.

Helicopter crashes in a Dutch cemetery. The rescue teams have already found 100 dead people.

Why are Dutch jokes about Belgium more common than in other countries?
They are cheaper.

A dutch guy was asked to do a gift for the orphan ouse.
He sended his grandmother.

A scottish guy marks all places on a map where he can eat for cheap, and the dutch guy marks all the places where you are obliged to pay.

How do you put 100 dutch people in a closet?
You drop an euro in there.

What's difference between a dinosaur and a smart dutch guy?
The dinosaurs had already existed.



And the question is: What does this hollandaise in Berlin?
The train to Israel was too expensive.

How do you keep a Belgian busy?
Put him in a round chamber and tell him to find the corner.

A German, Belgian and Dutchman are going parachuting.
The german jumps out and pulls his parachute. The Belgian jumps out and also pulls his parachute. The Dutchman jumps but his parachute wont open. Before he is able to open his reserve parachute he passes the belgian. The belgian yells "Wanna race buddy?" and throws off his own parachute.

What do you do when a belgian throws a handgrenate at you?
Pull the pin out and throw it back.

A belgian works for a company that repairs doorbells. He goes on his first job and returns within 10 minutes. His boss asks how he did his job so fast. The belgian replies: "I didn`t have to do anything I rang 6 times, but they didn`t open the door".

Two belgian pilots are about to land their plane on an airfield. "Before they land one belgian says: Jeez, this runway is very short". To which to other one replies: "Yeah, but it has to be a few miles wide"

How many jokes are there about belgians?
None, they`re all true

Why will we be at war with the belgians in 30 years?
Cause at that time they`ll finally get these jokes.


I can also play it like that Belgian Gentleman :p

Edited 3/21/2014 20:45:25

Goddamnit... Dutchies

wold you rather get run over by a invading army or defend for your land?

last spring a Belgian farmer went into his field and said... "wheres the crops?"

ok i suck come smash me in a 1v1 or something

what is the best contraceptive for old people?
"Nudity"

A Man walks into a bar.

Ouch.

A couple I found while pursuing the internet:

Q: What do you call a Blind German? A: a Not see

Q: Why are there so many tree lined streets and leafy lanes in France? A: Germans like to march in the shade.

Q: How did the Germans conquer Poland so fast? A: They marched in backwards and the Polish thought they were leaving.

Q: How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? A: First, invade ze kitchen.

Wie sieht ein echter Arier aus? Blond wie Hitler, groß wie Goebbels und schlank wie Göring!

France

On Belgians – “Two Belgians are driving a truck and arrive at a bridge with a warning sign: maximum height 4 meters. They get off and measure their truck. It’s 6 meters high. “What shall we do?” asks the one. “I don’t see any police” says the other one “so let’s drive on”

Luxembourg

On Belgians – “Helicopter crashes in a Belgian cemetery. The rescue teams have already found 100 dead people.”

Ireland

On English – “- What does an Englishman do for thrills?” “- Eats an After Eight mint at 7:30”.

Sweden

On Norwegians – “-How do you say ‘genius’ in Norway?” “- A tourist”

On Danes – “- Why do Danish people never play hide and seek?” “- Because nobody wants to look for them”

Netherlands

On Belgians – “- Why wasn’t Jesus born in Belgium?” “-God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin in Belgium”.

Germany

On Poles – “ – What do you call it when 2 whites are pushing a car?” “-White Power” “-What do you call it when 2 blacks are pushing a car?” “- Black Power” “- What do you call it when 2 Poles are pushing a car?” “- Grand theft auto”

On Dutch – “-Why did Ikea stop opening stores in the Netherlands?” “- They couldn’t afford the free pencils anymore”.

Italy

On Italians – “- What do you call an Italian with his hands in his pocket?” “- A mute”

Czech Republic

On Slovakians – “The Slovak language has been invented by Stur has he was drunk and tried to translate Russian to Czech”

Slovakia

On Czech – “A Slovak man, a Polskie man and a Czech man buy German cars. The Slovak man buys a Mercedes-Benz, The Polskie man buys a BMW. And the Czech man buys a Trabant”.

(Trabant is an East German brand, i.e. bad quality, but cheap)

Hungary

On Scotsmen – “Nowadays the Scots do not play bagpipes to frighten their enemies, they do it to annoy their neighbours.”

Romania

On Romanians – “-What is small, dark, and knocking at the door?” “- The future”

Croatia

On Bosnians – ““I think, therefore I am,” says a Bosnian and disappears without a trace.”

Bosnia and Herzegovina

On Germans – “A Bosnian interviews for a job in Germany. “Where are you from?” asks the employer. “From Bosnia!” “Oh, I know,” says the German, “you Bosnians are known to be lazy.” “Oh no, sir,” responds the Bosnian, “those are the Montenegrins. We Bosnians are stupid!”

Albania

On Greeks – “- What do you call a greek with 300 hundred wifes?” “- A Shepherd”

Greece

On Albanians – “- What’s the fastest thing in Kosovo?” “- An Albanian with your TV” “- And what’s the second fastest thing in Kosovo?” “- His cousin with your VCR”.

And because you were probably expecting a Jewish joke from me at one point:

Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards? A: They like the part where the prostitute gives the money back.

I laughed at some of the national clichee jokes :)