Bit 1: Crate.
This är war. I don't mean is, nor are, but är. It was in 1995, when Hell on Earth came to the small borough, in which Dog "the Fog" Pog lived in. He got out no weapons, as the sirens of the police cried, and the bloodshed began. This was the nightmare, mode, so he had to find a shotgun quick.
7 days before:
Darth Pog was at the training fort, in the south. It was winter, so it wasn't too sweaty, but too sweaty for sex before marriage, absolutely. It's always too sweaty.
Darth Pog hated winter. Stationed at Derbent, the sea was fine enough, but, nah, he didn't really like Derbent or the whole site, either. Anyhow, at this military camp, he basically showed what's what to some Dagestani trainees, and then went and did his own thing. He stole somebody's computer. It read
Begin it. A great change.
On further looking, he saw that this was owned by one of Kommandant Bug's troops, and they'd put him on No's ark to populate before marriage, which would be sinning and he would be damned to hell. Sinning for a noble purpose? Maybe. Banned to hell for all the afterlife? Not something Darth Pog could handle.
So he chose to throw away the computer, 2 metres away, just make sure it was really broken, and go wherever he wanted to go. He chose to go to the armoury, to look at some cool guns.
Now, says armoury, on the sign, but it's a pitiful excuse - they only had 4 guns for a show. They didn't even have any Pomgrenades. "THIS IS F------ING PITIFUL!" he shouted to the mate who was there, holding the arsenal gun show.
The bloke who showed the armoury was Very Sss. Very hated Darths's guts, but stayed calm, and sayed "That's Komandant Bug up there, watching your single f---ing word, that comes out of the plague-ridden mouth. Y'lucky I don't have the keys to No's Ark.". Komandant Bug then pulled out his silent revolver and shot Darth in the shoulder once. It hurt, but Darth felt he earned that shot, since he was making dissent and low morale in the great, God-blessed voyska.
Then, Darth ran through a simulation of what he's going to be up against in Belgium. Some Walloonian and Vlanderen extremist violent rebels here and there, don't shoot the Belgians and tourists, just the Walloons and Vlanderen, and yeah. No problem there, even with being shot in the shoulder. Then, Very Sss opened the cool, awesome private part of the armoury, but as Darth was going to take a gun to shoot Komandant Bug in a fit of sudden pain-induced rage, Very Sss punched Darth in the face with a flashbang.
Darth's unciounsness was bout in a crate, and shipped to the mountainside, where the Islamists had control.
End of Bit 1
Note: I'm going to actually brainstorm, make my own fanfiction, this will be great, I'tell you.
Edited 2/20/2016 03:03:24