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Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 11:58:21


Cheesus Crust
Level 23
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After his battle with the Felidae, Cheesus allowed his followers to stay at Mount Cuckold, as the Lord told Cheesus to venture to the Isles of the Cucklands. After 40 days, Cheesus arrived on their shores. There he was greeted by the king of the island, who said, "eat, traveler, for my halls are yours as long as you need." And so Cheesus stayed with the king for 7 days, and then set on his way, taking with him a gift of an African, whom the king said, was "An Ethiopian whose head is like a raisin".

Cheesus then went to the next isle, where he met the king. The king was displeased with Cheesus, and said, "STop with your curses and hate speech! This kingdom is fit only for my ideas, and yours are not mine. Leave our island, and give us reparations!"
Although invested with the power of our Lord and Flavor, Cheesus left the island and gave the king 30 pieces of gold.

Cheesus ventured to the third isle, where he was greeted by no king. Rather, Cheesus was taken to the king by soldiers who kicked their legs into the air, and spoke a tongue nobody could understand. With the infinite knowledge of our Lord and Flavor, Cheesus declared the father of the father of the father of one man was not blonde. Upon hearing this, chaos ensued, and Cheesus escaped, leaving his African gift to be free, upon which he was slain by the angry guards, who chanted "Go back to picking cotton!"

Finally, Cheesus traveled to the fourth island, and found a Hot Topic. Nobody lived on the island, for none of it's inhabitants had children. Cheesus supposed this was a curse for them fornicating with waifus and statuettes of horses.

And thus Cheesus returned to his followers, and told them all he had seen. And warned them to never go onto the forums again.
Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 11:58:57


[TNW] Commander Vimes
Level 32
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Is Vimes not involved?
Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 12:00:36


Fan the Apostle
Level 56
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*Takes notes of this*

Edit: Perform your sermons more frequently plox.

Edited 9/18/2016 12:01:02
Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 12:03:05


Jamal
Level 4
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This was terrible
Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 12:17:48


Cheesus Crust
Level 23
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It's the word of Cheesus. It has no flaw. It says in the Gouda Gospel:

"And all who say 'these words are but the babblings of a madman', provide them the truths given in this book, and bring the unbelievers into the arms of Cheesus, so that may be as holy as the Swiss".

And:

"How can you disbelieve what we have told you in here? Others may say 'you are a fool.' but it is they who are the fools, for they are disbelievers. The disbeliever is decietful, and creates lies as fast as a hen lays eggs. Trust only in Cheesus' word, for name one other who has been blessed by our Lord and Flavor".
Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 12:21:47


[FEL] The Prince of Felidia
Level 55
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Why would a cheesy crust fight Felidae
Cheesus' Sermon 4: Cheesus goes to the 4 Isles: 9/18/2016 12:48:46


Bane 
Level 59
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Lord cheesus! Your opinion on Cheeto chicken fries from burger King? Is it a threat to lovers of cheese? An innovation into new markets? The world must know your thoughts!
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