Hello, you've made a mistake, I'm not dead just sleeping, I'll see you in a few more years time.

@Conquerre, nice puzzle.

Edited 1/2/2016 09:48:34

I think something in the region of hello. Then fuck you. (and I mean that, God is apparently completely unwilling to help the world's people in pain).

God, give me a segway.

why didn't you strike vormulak with thou holy thunder

Eh, Platinum. You won't get rid of your reputation anyway. There is no escape.

Best answer to this question i've seen so far comes from Stephen Fry:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-suvkwNYSQo

DAMN IT

I would have only two things to ask God, if he was real:

1. Which religion was correct?
2. You look a lot less like Morgan Freeman than I thought.

I would also ask two questions:

1) If you exist, why won't you show your true self to all those you disbelieve in you so that a new "truer" sense of religious faith can exist on Earth?
2) How did I get selected to go to heaven?

I would ask to go see mom

Edited 1/2/2016 16:55:13

Hmm a tricky question.

1. I would ask why he/she didnt show him/herself to show everyone he/she actually exists and avoid practicaly every war over religion?
2. How could the "science" "proof" that your "theories" werent true?
3. Why did you create such a terrible and incredible stupid species called "homo sapiens" and let it destroy this wounderful planet as well as itself?
4. Why do people have to pay taxes to keep "christanity" alive?

I would end up slapping God, because he/she doesnt exist anyway.

Respect Conservative :) Keep on fighting bro.

4. Why do people have to pay taxes to keep "christanity" alive?

Do you mean the tithe?? How would they build churches?

Do you mean the tithe?? How would they build churches?

I am sure our omnipotent god can build churches without any money.

I am sure our omnipotent god can build churches without any money.

Oh you meant in that sense? Yes I would concur...I would ask him to build more churches.

I would ask why he doesn't exist, for the world would be much better if he did.

I would ask why he doesn't exist, for the world would be much better if he did.

I disagree, if you have read the Bible, you know that he is a psychotic maniac. Thank god he doesn't exist, the world would be like a global North Korea.

Thank god he doesn't exist

Good one.

Hitchslap, I mean the God people believe him to be (now, I realize this might not be the most fortunate choice of words, but overall, I mean the omnipotent, omniscient "good guy" he should be. He should prevent the evil from happening, which he is not doing.)