This one is much less 'ha-ha' funny then the previous two. But I hope you enjoy it!
Ambient Music to play in the background while reading:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoHSLwOmNS8HOUSE CORP:
Season 7 Results:Division D1
143 Points (4th Place)
Our story begins on the misty moors of Scotland, a lone wolf cries in the night as a shadowy figure darts through the wilderness, panting and stumbling through twisted trees, stinking marshes and sharp rocks. The figure is pursued by a pack of hunters from The Lone Wolves, time is on the side of the Lone Wolves, he cannot escape forever. But in the distance, a man stands with lamp held high, in wait of the messenger. The lone figure shoves a package into the man's hands, "keep him safe, he is the last hope for our houses...their lines....will fall....", he whispers. The man with the lamp post looks down at a newborn baby, fast asleep, not a care in the world. "Hush little Ox, you are safe now." The man stares at the pack of hunters and vanishes without a sound.
The King Chesire and his Queen of Houses United Nations and League of Nations has died and the land has been thrown into chaos. His successor Marksman, a illegimate dickhead, has resulted in the people of the land revolting to declare themselves independent: Houses After_Dark, The Royal Falcons, and Coalition of Role Playing (CORP) are all founded. The old houses of United Nations and League of Nations died with the king and queen, their lines failed but the jealous House of The Lost Wolves and its leader Semicedevine have been waiting for their turn to rule, their turn to smite those that oppose them and crush their enemies to dust!
The houses squabble amongst each other, they rise and fall, splinter apart time and time again as clans are hijacked over and over again. The people cry "WHY ME!? WHY ME!?", holding their children to their breast, weeping as their world turns to ash. Semicedevine and the Lost Wolves have been warring amonst all that oppose them, raiding villages and burning monasteries across the land. But their control of the land will soon come to an end.
The flailing house of poor naming choices House Coalition of Role-Playing unites behind a marriage of strategy and role-playing. Beneath the beautiful Temple of Lawlz, the gardens are where OxtheArtist first sets eyes on his stunny Sri Lankan bride, Prabster Realm. Their love was a story for the ages; it was filled with passion and rage, their love making echoing across the castle every night, they smashed House The Royal Falcons to pieces and tore down their cities and ended the meager House After_Dark to stand united against House The Lost Wolves.
Ultimately, they met House The Lost Wolves on the battlefield before the great City of Kings. The CORP host, composed of chattering dwarves with a knack for screaming throughout the Warlight Forum, remarkably punched through the Lost Wolves. But the Lost Wolves would never break as Semicedevine, massive mace in hand, smashed his way through CORP like the Cool-Aid man through a wall. Lord OxtheAutist, pointlessly renamed, met Semicedevine and their clash would echo for all to hear. Through a stream of unintelligible profanity too disgusting to repeat here, Ox threw down Semicedevine as the army of CORP drove back the Lost Wolves.
The city was theirs but with their squeaking dwarvish army weakened, could they fight for glory in Clan League? The dwarves were on their side, squeaking and running crazy as CORP, against all odds challenged the cold Lord Great Expanse and cunning M'Lord AI in battle! But fell short. House CORP drew blood from their enemies as Lord OxtheAutist and Lady Prabster Realm dark to their pyrrhic victory. The waited patiently and House Hydra then M'House M'Hunters ascended to Division C, knowing their rise to the top would be at hand! Then it happened! House Warlighters, old and storied, was incapable of rising from their stone throwns. House CORP's time had come! After finishing with Prabster Realm, he turned to his bride to say "You bet your ass we are gonna beat those sorry luckers!"
To be continued...
Edited 6/18/2016 23:47:48
