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Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 00:54:07


Zephyrum 
Level 60
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Made by Juq. Resposting for him. Reason? Read it to find out!




All right, let's get started here. First off, the title. SHITe, what is it? It's a mix of sulfur (S), hydrogen (H), Iodine (I), and Tellurium (Te), makes for a wonderful drug. Anyway, first on, we've got some thanks to give, a word from our sponsor, Zephyrum. It's Latin for a soft breeze, frankly, it's an awful username, since it's in a dead tongue, but whatever. Breezy, that's a good username. Anyhow, Breezy, thanks to him, I'm knacked to host this with drawings and photographes! Something to break the wall, anything to break the wall.


A statue of the Japanese Shintō wind god, Fūjin. This is what I call to mind when someone says "Zephyrum".

Second on, let's get the actual stuff going on. It's chemistry, but that's a Latinist word that has no stead in a Germanic tongue such as English, so frankly, a better word for English would be stuffcraft. Doing (crafting) deeds with stuff. In Icelandic, chemistry is translated as efnafræði (note: ð sounds like th in the), which comes from the words efna (stuff) and fræði (understanding). In Chinese, Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese, the word is written 化学, from the ideogram 化 (make) and 学 (learn). Both of these, I would say is a better word for chemistry.[1] But what really is chemistry, then?


A 7.62x39MM bullet, used in the AK-47 and earlier SKS (first made in 1944). One of the most powerful impacts of chemistry is the development of gunpowder by Taoist monks in the +900s.

Chemistry is the study of stuff and how it changes. That's a pretty broad meaning, I know. Is chemistry how Fizzer changes Warlight through updates? No, that's more computer science than anything, since warlight.net (or warzone.com! didn't think I'd forget that, did you?) does not really count as stuff. Stuff is something you can hold, and you can't really hold a website. You can hold a computer that has Warlight loaded up, but you're still holding everything else: the web browser, the hardware, the software, so on. A rock is something you can hold. How are sapphires made? Is chemistry smashing your computer screen in anger, or throwing your telephone about the room, like every dextrous Warlighter does when they lose a game? No, that's not it, either. Even though you might change the screen (by breaking it), or change your telephone silicon wiring (by breaking it), that's more phys than anything. So what is phys, then?


A laser shined on a bit of Vertically Aligned NanoTube Arrays BLACK. VANTABLACK, one of the blackest stuff known to mankind. Y'know that clan, DARKLORDS? Yeah, well, if they keep true to their name (they don't, as I explained earlier), they'd know that VANTABLACK is their most loved thing in the world, taking in over 99.99% of all light hitting it (for contrast: the blackest coal ever examined took in 96% light that hit it). Rumour has it that Darklordio, the DARKLORDS' clan manager, is actually a robot that is covered in VANTABLACK, and since he's so black, he can't go outside, he immediately starts burning up from all the light he takes in, and so he stays in his closet all day and invites folk to the DARKLORDS.

Phys, more often wrongly called physics (-ic is added to the end of words making them an adjector, and in English, there are no plural forms of adjectors) is perhaps better called powercraft. It's the science of power and strength, but not the science of getting such things - that's called bodybuilding (I'm also very knowledgeable at this, you may ask frains about this as well). This is where throwing a telephone comes in: with how much power are you throwing that telephone, and how heavy the telephone will determine the strength the thrown telephone has, as well as how much it will fly. Your power in striking the screen will pick how effective your strike will be on the screen. How much liquid hydrogen is needed to be burned in order to launch a 300 kg load into cosmos (above 100 km Earth's atmosphere)?


A yearly hot air balloon party in Velikiye Luki, Russia. Velikiye Luki (translates to Great Onions (some folk say Russia has the greatest alcohol. I go to Russia, since there, you can get the greatest onions.))[2] is one of the biggest ballooning boroughs in Russia. Anyhow though, this has got to be one of the biggest middle fingers from science to God. As if secular proof of Darwinian evolution and of the Big Bang wasn't enough, hot air balloons, too? They just fall upwards, instead of downwards as God meant? And hot air balloon festivals, well, that's like having each finger you have be your middle finger, and being a polydactyl, and inviting to a party your polydactyl friends who were also born with 14 middle fingers.

Chemistry ties into loads of other sciences and study fields. As I said before (did I say it before, though? don't recall). Darklordio, he needs to be really dark, not pitch coal dark, but VANTABLACK dark. Fizzer, he knows how to make drinks fizz. That carbonation, or lithiation. Rumour has it that he owns a soft drink business, so he's got to know how to carbonate some sugary water. Me, I'm named Juqtırw (Жұқтыру), which is Kazakh for ill. So I got to know how to make the wonderful poisons to make folk ill. Death, he's got to know how to make poisons to kill. We read toxicology together. TheConservative, he's got to know how to keep (conserve) food fresh.


The Nolan Chart is a rough graphic approximation of where you stand politically, here wielding the four corners of totalitism, conservism, liberalism, and progressivism. I have to say I'm a progressivist, and I admire other folk who are progressivists (to the left). Let's progress science. Then you have conserves, which are the opposite of progressivists...which mean that they're going to unravel progress in science. Then we've got totalitism, ask them if you need help with maths. I'm ok with totalists, they're not so good at science, but they're not going to unravel it, and they're good at maths instead. And then you have liberalists, who are too busy doing heroin and smoking weed to learn anything good. At least no progress is better than being anti-progressive, though, as the conserves are.

Now, what're some other wieldings of chemistry? Well, earthcraft, or what's magniloquently called geology, the folk in that field who want to find new sites for mines and drilling with some rightness to it, they wield analytic chemistry. They analyse rock, dirt, and other samples of stuff to see if they find traces of dank weed. If they do find traces of dankness, they dig up the stead, and they find a rapper mine. While else do you think most rappers are as black as coals? They're squat right next to some coals and black resin and mud until they're dug up.


A rapper found in a mine. This is Tech N9ne, an American rapper. Underground rap just took a new meaning. Also, hot fire rap? Yeah, that's when they find rappers next to a burn of magma. Earth science is much fun.

Folk who have no life and so play about on their computer all day, otherwise known as software engineers...do they need chemistry? Noooo...except to get some psychedelic grub, for creativity. C'mon, we all know that Fizzer and knyte jam heavy on the psilocin (C12H16N2O) and mescaline (C11H17NO3), separating the wheat from the chaff, here, from less successful programmers who snort the legal stuff like caffeine, such as Muli. And that's some pretty "restricted" stuff worldwide, so they need to know how to make this stuff, through some pretty shifty do-it-yourself chemical experiments. But anyhow, real engineers also need to know their chemistry pretty well, though. They need to know what stuff to use, and how it will deal with other stuff, and in order to know that, you need to know all about stuff, which is chemistry.


God is probably the greatest engineer ever to have been. I mean, he's the only engineer to date to make life. Beat that, all you other scientists. He's probably most known for his genetic work. But you can't make bones out of biscuits, or eyes with bricks, he had to have a really superb knowledge of chemistry to make life. Yeah, he's a pretty amazing engineer, and I'd go as far to say that every scientist that does not have this drawing on one's wall and openly wears his sign (the cross) is insulting to science.



Footnotes:
*[1] 化学 are only the written ideograms. The traditional (Taiwan/Hongkong) form is 化學, and this is the same form used when writing in Korean or Vietnamese with Chinese characters. It should be recalled that the word, although written alike in the four tongues, sounds quite different in each, and Chinese ideograms are secondarily used to Korean Hangul in Korea, and are very seldom used in Vietnamese today, although Chinese ideograms were dominant in those tongues a few hundred years ago.
*[2] Well, only kind of. And by great, I mean big, and weighty, not as in good-tasting. And by onions, well, not really. Luk (лук) is a word that has a few meanings in Russian, one of which is onion. Most noone really believes it means Great Onions, but the dominant belief is that it's Great Bows (as in to shoot arrows), and it's emblem (three bows) supports this meaning.
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 00:54:31


Zephyrum 
Level 60
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Once again, reminder: written by Juq.




Now, environmental science also wields chemistry as well. Conserves, go away, we all know your environmental stances (D. Trump once said some sobering words about global warming. He explained how global warming was just a Chinese hoax, and it was in order to lower American industrial power; to make America, un-great. Trump's been known as a smart bloke for a long time (his words, not mine). He understands the Chinese Mind (again, his words, not mine).). But basically, chemistry is wielded in environmental science to look at the roots and effects of global environmental changes. What is the uranium isotope that leaves the least core waste? How does C-level radiation mutate life? How does CO2 affect the Earth and its life? Pretty useful stuff to know here. Well, if you live in Chornobyl like I do.


A heat map (in the literal sense) of how much the world has heated up and cooled down since 1950. I really hate global warming. The world's already too hot as it is. And taking away snow and ice? Naw, faff global warming, let's just get a bunch of fridges and bring about the new ice times.

Another need for chemistry is the pharmaceutic industry. You yourself was likely saved by pharmacy more than a few times, through the development of new dank medicines, like weed. Seriously, they use weed in some clins, as it does numb you a bit, though some countries like China and Brazil illegalise it even for those purposes. Also, let's settle the debate here, which Korea is better. Choson has almost a third it's population starving, in Hanguk, almost none. Hanguk 1; Choson 0. In Choson, the government does not have an income tax. 1-1. Tiebreaker: which Korea legalised weed? Choson +420. 421 against 1, looks like Choson beats out Hanguk by miles. [sponsored by General Numbnuts and the Friends of the Korean Folk Repub]


A chart showing the hazard levels of different drugs. As you can see, hemp is less addicting and much less deathly than alcohol and nicotine (smoking), but never do heroin. Anyhow, we need to legalise psilocin now. Some books have been written while folks were eating that stuff, it makes them creative. LSD, I bet, too. Me and Belgian, we know very well though that alcohol is our drug. Writing this as I'm drunk as nails, but I wanted something fun to write :)

And then, then, what'd'you have? Maybe I should do some psilocin isntead, but a little conserve is asking me what the faff environmental science has to do with chemistry. What it investigates, in short. Well, I faffing told you, but I guese? guess? that I'll have to go into more detail. You know that smog that you get in Shanghai and those big industrial boroughs? It's hazardous, not only is it directly toxic in levels about 2% (CO2, that is), but it indirectly kills folk. Lowered knack to see in the foggy roads means more road accidents. Yeah, so we need to know all about that CO2, how we can rid it, at least from the boroughs where it's too much.


The contrast between a normal day and a smoggy day in inner Peiching. In Europe, London and Köln are probably the two boroughs most associated with smog, although London's situated in a way that makes smog easier to form there. As such, London's had a much longer past with smog; Edward I (of the Plantaganet French house) even banned coal fires in London in 1306. The smogs came to be known as "pea-soupers" as they were "as thick as pea soup". The Great Smog of 1952 (London) killed 4,000 folk within the 4 days it happened and 8,000 more later, becoming one of the worst disasters in London.

And then, then, you've ozone (O3). Myself, I like the vowel O the most, and this makes sense to put in a word that's fully made up of oxygen. But where's the zone come in? Whatever, I guess. Well, I looked it up, and no, it's not actually that sensible, the naming of it. They didn't name it since they liked the vowel O, nor did they name it since it's made out of oxygen. They just choose to name it after some Greek word, ozein (ὄζειν), meaning to smell. I mean, c'mon. They could name it Ooomph, that's a better name, but to smell? This is why folk turn their backs on science, these "scientists" happen to be dumb as faff when it comes to naming things. Take a look at the last 5 elements on the Periodic Table if you don't believe me. Oh, but anyhow, we're getting less and less ozone, and that means that these poor polar bears are losing their home. Y'know, I kind of feel bad when polar bears become endangered, but they don't bring about too many problems for most men. What is a problem? Faffing bees. They need to go extinct, I'm very racist against bees, I just hate them so much. They sting you, and there are better ways to pollinate flowers without stinging bugs, like butterflies, hummingbirds, and even fruitbats! All much better than Satanic filth, the bees.


Look at this fruit bat. Seriously, this is a bat, not a dog. I think bats are really cute, but there's loads of propoganda going about that bats are somehow evil and harmful, and this mainly seems to be in European(-descended) and many Indegenous American and African cultures that they're seen as evil. In China, though, the bat is a sign of happiness and long life, and in the Arabic world and Poland, a sign of luck, while in some Polynesian cultures, at near god status. Seriously, why are bats dealt with so badly? Even the 3 species of vampire bats very rarely have ever attacked humans, and just look at this bild. And this bonus one of a fruit bat: (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Lesser_short-nosed_fruit_bat_%28Cynopterus_brachyotis%29.jpg). Same deal with foxes, I love them to death, and they're hardly pests to farms today, but still unwilling players in the one-sided sport of hunting. Oh yeah, and my main point with this photographs: yes, fruit bats live wholly on fruits and nectar, so yes, they do actually pollinate.

Wow, this is derailing faster in precisely the same way that trains generally don't. Was talking about ozone and climate change, and I somehow got to bees and bats? Oh well, back on course. Oh yeah, that conservative bloke asked me something about environmental science. Ok, ask me again when you've melted from the global warming. I already am.


Capracotta, south (surprisingly not in the cold Alpine mountains to the north) Italy. This village of 1,000 folk holds the world record for most snowfall in 24 hours: 256 CM. For contrast, the average *yearly* snowfall in Petrograd comes to 199 CM, while in Toronto, 122 CM. Look at this. This is faffing fantastic, I just fully love it. Anyone who has not lived through a snow drift like this, they have not lived, I must say. I feel very bad for lands like Bangladesh and Cuba, where they've never had a below 0 temperature on record (and thus no snow). That's just truly so sad, to have never lived in such weather. Sadly, though, global warming is making snow and hail rarer and rarer.

Better wrap it up right now. This is a pretty slow way to learn chemistry, but I hope it's pretty easy and effortless, as well. I'll be offering a recap of what's been learned so far if I get far enough. Take what you can from this. If you manage to somehow materialise some watermelons out of the computer screen, that's great, be sure to leave some for me, for I lack the skill of watermelon materialisation. Be sure to work on materialising stuff like, sapphires or something, and give 10% the profits for me, as I came up with the thought.

Wow, done this, did that, tit fis, deal hat, so I guess it's time for another strawpoll to see what should be the next thing to write about. (http://www.strawpoll.me/7131385)
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 01:07:15


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 01:14:05


Darth Darth Binks
Level 56
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Voted for Infrequent News.

If you end up needing an editor/proofreader, I am now enjoying summer vacation (praise be to God) and can help you, senpai.

This was very well-written, especially since English isn't your first language, and you were drunk. I wouldn't be opposed to see more.

#BatLivesMatter

Edited 6/5/2016 01:15:31
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 01:49:37


Major General Smedley Butler
Level 49
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Bees, bats, conserves, ozones and Tech N9ne? Good. Very good.
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 01:52:26


Leibstandarte (Vengeance)
Level 40
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''Claps'' bravo
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 07:53:30


Belgian Gentleman
Level 55
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Bartender! more wodka!
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 19:47:23


GeneralPE
Level 56
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^ +1
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 19:57:12


{Canidae} Kretoma
Level 57
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Please more. :D
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/5/2016 20:34:23


Genghis 
Level 52
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I'll have to thoroughly read this later. Looks like it was 80% filler, 15% jokes, 4% Xapy memes and 1% Chemistry.
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/6/2016 06:04:27


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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Looks like In Front of the Macroscope wins (I cast a vote on chemistry just to see if it works - so it doesn't really count), unless there are more votes?

Also, I realise the poll is kind of broken (can't change your vote from before), but I'll fix that in the new one.
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/6/2016 06:04:45


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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DARKLORDS are wonderful!
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/6/2016 15:16:59


Fleecemaster 
Level 59
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Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/6/2016 15:19:34


#TrumpTrain
Level 18
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r u walter white

u should make meth
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/6/2016 15:21:07


Paugers
Level 41
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Fleece is reported for using the naughty words.
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/20/2016 03:13:37


Жұқтыру
Level 55
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I'm thinking of making this into a video, I think it would be a fun project to do, and it would make it a bit more accessible. (also, how is this not old enough to be locked, I was surprised I could reply)

Edited 6/20/2016 03:14:04
Chemistry is my SHITe: 6/20/2016 03:18:04


master of desaster 
Level 64
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Lock time is 1 month as far as i know
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